Tests that stand the test of time

There are many tests in life. There are math tests, english tests, scholastic aptitude tests (SATs), ACTs, LSATs, MCATs; there are even litmus tests and battery tests. I have even seen, and experienced, character tests. To be honest, I have even proctored a few of my own character tests during interns (but don't tell them). Yet it stands to reason that the two single greatest tests of all time are administered by my 10 month old daughter Catalina. They are highly specialized and focused in their deductive reasoning. The first test is the "smack down test" or as it is known in scientific and academic circles the "high-impact, digit exam". The purpose of this initial test is two-fold:

Number one: to determine if it can be rolled upon, sat upon, stood upon, leaned upon and thrown down the stairs.

Number two: will it fit in my mouth?

So all throughout the house, everything that sits within a 10 month old reach is subjected unwillingly to the smack down of Catalina. For example, cell phones, keys, keyboards, bibles, and any sort of semi-sessile, inanimate object. This results in cries of "no!" and "catalina!" from mom and dad as they try and hide their personal effects all throughout the house. Constantly, picking and moving things which don't appear to be in reach but through a child's innate hidden powers to climb and pull tablecloths they quickly become within reach. However, this test proves to babies worldwide that those objects which are taken from them are indeed the ones that should be subjected to the most evaluation.

The second test that Catalina then performs, after smacking, leaning, sitting and throwing it; is the most helpful. It is a test that can only produce successful results in a baby. (I have tried it myself and find it too hard to distinguish, also due to experience I have learned my lesson about dirt). This test is called the "salivatorical deductive inspection" or "can I eat it?" This test also has a two-fold purpose:

Number one: to determine the entropy (or breakdown) of said item (i.e. how long till this cell phone dissolves in my mouth or how fast can i swallow mom's keys)

Number two: will it fit in my mouth?

In our house, since Cali is teething, saliva seems to be in abundance and drops of spit dot our carpet (yes we steam clean it often [by we, I mean paige]). And everything within Catalina's seemingly endless reach is put to the test. Children everywhere can rest easy and assured, yes, it's true - the corners of bibles and tables are one of the world's great, hidden delicacies.

For centuries, nay, millenia children across God's great, green earth have been subjecting bouncy balls, race cars, wooden boats, pacifiers, books, and the occasional cat to these great tests. Countless acres of dirt and sand have been processed through the bowels of these tiny test-takers, proving once for all that the tests that stand the test of time are the ones that don't kill us and in fact, fit in our mouth.

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PS invite night is only two weeks away!

The Next Great Invention

I am an Apple fan, not gala or granny smith per se, but an www.apple.com fan. I like the way they design both graphically and industrially. I like that they are always improving and pushing the envelope in every arena of their respective sphere. But it seems to me, in this age of technology and information, that the next great invention will not be another gadget. It won't be another device to organize our busy lives or a device that can play mp3s and wirelessly flush the toilet. I betting that the next great invention won't even be an invention so much as it will be a worldwide revelation. And the revelation will be that Jesus Christ has died for ALL of OUR sin, sickness and poverty.

That revelation will prove to be so monumental that we will, in truth, not need another helper because we will already have THE HELPER - the Holy Spirit! And if we walk in the Spirit we would not even need another organizer because He would lead us where to go and what to do. We would, then, not need a mp3 player or video player because we would be so consumed with singing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs; and every time we rested our eyes to take a nap or sleep for the evening our spirits would be engaged in the visions and dreams of the heavenly realm that a video player would pale in comparison. In truth, Hi-Def has nothing on the 3rd heaven (2 Cor. 12:2 for the doubters), getting caught up in the presence of God is a total sensory overload! Your whole spirit, soul and body interact in His presence, there is no way any THING can replicate that experience.

The next great invention isn't a new iPod (which I love, FYI) or even a new TV or 3D image-something or other. But the next great invention will not even be an invention but a revelation of who Jesus Christ is! And it will be something that has been around from before the foundations of the world and yet is, and never will be, outdated or improved upon.

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The perfect willl of Dad

In Romans 12:2 it talks about how we shouldn't be conformed but rather transformed, by the renewing of our mind (or brain for us scientists) that we can prove the good and acceptable and perfect will of God. What an exciting verse! But how exactly do we prove it? Hold that thought for a second.

I remember when I was younger and we would play together as kids, mostly cops and robbers. (which in reality is nothing more than riding bikes around the neighborhood arguing and yelling at each other and trying to figure who was a cop and who was a robber) After an hour or so of this it would inevitably lead into a conversation of escalating statements about what each of us could do. Usually climaxing with the ever popular and highly intellectual proclamation of "PROVE IT!" At this point, everyone's conversation would come to an abrupt halt and collectively groan "ooooo". Everyone knew somebody was going to have to act and they better be able to perform, otherwise it would be a life of being the robber and put in a jail which was nothing more than the sidewalk.

Recently, I was getting ready for work and Catalina was "playing" in the bathroom while I was fixing my hair. By fixing I mean putting a glue-like compound into my hair so that it looks like I didn't just spend 20 minutes messing it up. Catalina had discovered the toilet paper roll, much the way Columbus discovered America by running into it with their face. I was telling her not to "play" (or spin all of the TP onto the floor in a heap and then shove it in her mouth), and picked her up and put her in the adjacent bedroom. A minute or two goes by and here she comes again this time discovering that the cabinet was open and apparently everything in the cabinet had been begging to be thrown on the floor and sucked.

If I had it my way, or you could say my perfect will for Catalina, would be to sit and play on the floor watching Dad fix his hair. The good will was her playing with the TP and the acceptable will was her tossing the stuff in the cabinet on the floor. She proved the good and acceptable, but was relegated to cops and robber prison in the bedroom.

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ps gc is at ramona tonight and at the new bldg next week!