Beelzebug

I happen to hate, with a passion, the common housefly. He is known as annoyingacus flyacus. I hate how he flies in 90 degree angles all the time and buzzes right up to my face then deftly makes a right turn, dodging my cat-like reflexes. Oh, how he taunts me day in and day out. He alights on my shoulder and then bolts away, knowing that I intend to subdue him. He lands on my food while I am looking away only to barf on it and wait just long enough for me to see that he is on my food and then he's off! Flying in right angles taunting everyone in his path. Ladies and gentlemen, he is the FLY!

I like the name beelzebug. Recently, after camp, my house was filled with beelzebugs. It was disgusting. The only way for a fly to get in my house is when the backdoor is left open and the screen door is open also. (the reason it was "filled" is that we have a nectarine tree in our backyard which produces a bumper crop every year and these flys make their home in the rotten fruit!) Beelzebug, also grows to mammoth proportions so that he is more like a bat than an actual, common housefly. Hence the name beelzebug. Back to my story, so for the next two weeks I have been on fly patrol. And armed with my trusty swatter have been battling the forces of evil that would try to barf on my food! I write you today to say that I have killed the last of them and the enemy has been vanquished. Unless of course the backdoor was left open...

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